Why...

I found out today, that one of my very close friends, had gotten into some trouble. This friend, to my finding out, has gotten into drugs. I don't know what kind of drugs, but, it is affecting them to a great extent and said friend doesn't know that I know what they've gotten into.

This person was my best friend. One that I was able to confide in no matter what the circumstance. They were the kind of friend that I could call at any time during the night to talk when I couldn't sleep, when I had one of my night terrors, and they would sit up and listen to me talk. When my Uncle Mervin passed away, they sat on the phone with me for 16 straight hours, listening to my cry, and comforting me. They were the fist person that I called when something good happened to me.

Now, this friend, who has gotten into these hard drugs, has pushed me away. They will not talk to me, they've told me so many lies. There is nothing that I can do about it. I know what they've done, and what they're doing, but I cannot tell them that because they wont talk to me, and I swore to the friend that told me this that I would not say anything. I want to help but said friend will not accept my help, won't have anything to do with me anymore.

For the past two weeks, I have cried over this friend every night. I don't know what to do. I'm hoping that their parents will figure it out. I can only hope for this friend. There's nothing more that I can do but hang in there, and hope and pray for the best.

I know that it's not too late for this friend. That they can still straighten them self out, but unfortunately they don't want me around for that. Why do these things happen? They say that everything happens for a reason, but how come you can never figure this reason out?

My family tells me that I am a strong person, and that I can fight through the pain, and the hurt that I'm feeling right now. And I know that I can too. I've been dealing pretty well for the past few days, keeping my mind off what is going on. But I don't understand why this would happen, and I've stopped searching for the answer, because it hurts too much to think about it. I have lost my shoulder to lean on, and the guard to all of my secrets.

I pray to God to give me strength to overcome this hurt that I'm feeling right now. And I hope that everything turns out for this friend. But this right now, is the most that I can do.

I Didn't Know I Could Write Poetry...

I could sit here

And think hard of something to write

But I know that it won't come to me

You can never find what you're looking for

Unless you've stopped looking

When it's really unexpected

It'll pop into your head

Or maybe run into you in the hallway

You have to recognize it when it appears

Grasp it and never let go

Don't let it slip away

Because you may never get it back.

School, Family, Friends, Kung Fu... Balance?

I just received my timetable from school today and holy man... it is so so packed.

I have 3 grade 10 honour courses (Science, English, and Social) , pure math, French 7 Program (that means that it's 80 min a day for half a year), and grade 11 Biology. Plus phys. ed, Drama, Religion and Computer Technology.

It's finally starting to sink in... school starts next week, and I have to really work hard this year.

I have to eliminate my unnecessary distractions, and really focus on my school work. This is a huge workload, and I cannot let my grades slip this year. I've set a goal for myself of an above 80% average in all of my cores this year, and that won't happen if I slack off... like I did last year. Social is going to be a big one. It's a real big leap for me to request to be put in the honours class this year, because I've always struggled with Social. Last year was my highest social mark ever at 86%... I'm hoping that I can maintain this throughout this year...

The real trick for me is going to find balance. School, and my Kung Fu have dominated the top of my priorities list for this year, but I have to still fit in my family time, and time with my friends. Not to mention my extra-curricular activities that I plan to take through school. Balance is going to be tricky, and I can see myself getting really stressed out over everything (I already sort of am...) but I have to keep myself calm, and remain in the moment. I have to keep reminding myself that I can do this, none of this is outside of what I'm capable of doing, because I've done it all before.

I think I can, I think I can....

My List: Summit at least 5 Mountains.

I have a list. A list of things that I really want to do. The first thing on that list is to summit at least 5 different mountains. I kick started that ambition on my family trip to Jasper.

The picture to my left is of me 8, 084ft up, on the summit of Whistlers Mountain in Jasper. 8.3km to the summit. It was an amazing hike, and I loved every minute of it. The view was amazing, totally worth it.

When I'm 17, I'd like to hike pyramid mountain, which is also in Jasper. It's a little over 9, 000ft to the summit, and an approx. 8 hour hike up to the top. One of the guides in Jasper told me that It's amazing once you get up to the top, and you can tent it overnight once you're up there. I think that's something that I'd like to try =)

Oh Ambitious Me.