<--- Me and my grandma the night I received my blackbelt.I'm not a person that deals very well with big changes in my personal life, and it seems that change is all that has been taking place this year.
In January of this year, we received shocking news that my Uncle Mervin had passed away of a heart attack at 57 years old. This was hard for everyone to take it, because it came out of no where. Everyone in the family was very close to Uncle Merv in some way, he made everyone feel really special. When all the nieces and nephews sat down and talked about him, we all thought that we were his favourite, which to me is pretty special. This has been a huge change for me, that I still have trouble accepting. I haven't really been able to move on from it yet, when it seems that everyone else has...
When my Uncle Merv passed away, my grandma went in for surgery. She's now 88 years old, and can no longer live by herself at her house in Saskatchewan. On our way home from our recent trip to Saskatoon, I was informed that we were going to be selling the house next month. The first thing that popped into my head was "what about the holidays?" I hold so many memories in that house. I've been at that house for every Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Wedding, etc. since I've been born. Over 40 aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. would pile into the small house and share old stories, and joke around, and then we would prepare and eat supper together. Nobody knows what's going to happen to these traditions yet. And I'm not ready to let them all go quite yet...
I don't know how I'm going to deal with all of these changes, I don't know if I ever will. But what I do know is that I can't let my fear of huge change keep me from doing the things that I love. So I'll move on, and keep myself occupied. I'll watch the changes unravel, and pray for the good things that will come out of them.
On a lighter note, I just recently inquired about a mission trip to the Ukraine July of 2012 through Global Youth Missions (GYM). I'm pretty excited about this, because this is where both sides of my family came from.
That that don't kill me, will only make me stronger.
~Kanye West
